My Brother, the Idiot
by seashell118
Summary: We all know what happened to Edward and Bella throughout Twilight, but what about Jasper? What emotions did he feel? What did he think? And why does he think Edward is an idiot? This is basically Twilight in Jasper's point of view.
1. The Human Girl

**So, here it is! I promised you more Jasper stories, after all. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is a thousand times more awesome than me for making this story. I don't own any of these characters, places, or events.

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It had been many, many years since I had joined the Cullens. Alice and I had gotten married a few months after our move, but of course her ring finger now was empty. We were attempting to blend in with our surroundings, after all. And that meant high school. In this century, high school students did not normally marry.

Everyone eyed us strangely on our first day, but they had grown accustomed to us by now. They ignored us, leaving us to our own devices in our self-induced exile.

I wish I could say I could ignore the humans.

Every time they walked past me, even the smallest, weakest human, my thirst would flare, as if flames were ripping through the back of my throat. I knew that one taste, one bite, would quench the flames. Just one…

But I stayed strong. For Alice.

I was pretending to be a senior now, as were Emmett and Rosalie. Alice and Edward were both pretending to be juniors. We sat at our own table in the very corner of the lunch room, away from human eyes.

These stupid mortals were excited over something today, a new arrival of some sort. I felt their enthusiasm, their anticipation. I couldn't understand it at all.

I glimpsed her once, in the cafeteria. She had long brown hair and wide brown eyes, with pale skin only seconded to ours. She felt awkward and out of place, her feelings so strong I could feel them across the room. I momentarily felt bad for her- this was obviously not her forte- before I caught sight of the pulsing blue vein in her neck. Venom pooled in my mouth. My hands clenched into fists. My eyes rolled into the back of my head.

And then there was another pale hand on mine, gripping it tightly in restraint. I didn't have to meet her furious gaze to know that it would be Alice. She always knew when I was going to lose my self control. She could see it.

Instead, I looked at the plate of food I would not eat, avoiding both Alice's and Edward's glares. It was hard to get away with anything with those two around.

But I was glad they stopped me. I didn't want to be a monster, not anymore. It is hard though, seeing that every time my thirst flares I lose myself and succumb to that murderer I once was.

I felt Edward's intrigue and confusion as he repeatedly looked over his shoulder.

"What is it?" I murmured, moving my mouth only slightly. We never made any motions that would catch any human's eye.

"I can't hear her," Edward muttered in a frustrated tone.

"Wait, you mean you can't… _hear _her, hear her?" Emmett asked, as inarticulate as always.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Yes, Emmett. I can't hear her thoughts."

Our table sat in stunned silence with this revelation.

"I can still feel her emotions," I confirmed.

"I can still see her future. She's going to sit next to you in Biology," Alice chirped beside me.

I felt Edward's elation at this, and I stared at him, open-mouthed.

"I just want to figure her out," he explained. I didn't buy it. There was something else going on here, something I didn't quite understand.

"I'm going to the car," Alice said quietly.

"Why?"

"I'm looking out for her future, Edward. I need to understand why she's immune to you for some reason. I'm going to need to concentrate, so I can't be around others."

We all nodded, and she picked up her tray of food and left.

Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, and I sat in silence for the rest of the lunch period. When the bell rang, we got up to endure our selective class periods.

I grabbed Edward's shoulder as he turned to leave. "I'm going out with Alice. Don't do anything stupid."

Edward turned around with a small _huff_, walking to his Biology class with his shoulders stiff. He obviously thought he had the self control to sit next to this human, the one he found so interesting.

I found Alice in the Volvo, parked as close to the Biology building as physically possible without tipping the humans off. I felt the emotions of all those inside. It was mainly boredom. But as I saw the new girl, Isabella Swan, walk into the classroom, their emotions heightened to pleasure and intrigue. Edward was among them, and I frowned.

As Isabella took the steps to sit next to Edward at the Biology table, just as Alice had predicted, Alice gasped. It only took a second for her vision to become true.

Edward's emotions physically flung me back in the seat several inches. They were that intense. Thirst, hunger, hatred, longing, fury, rage; I couldn't keep up. I writhed in pain as they continued to hit me.

_EDWARD NO, _I shouted in my mind, unable to concentrate on much else besides those two words. I was still shuddering under the weigh of his emotions. This was by far the worst pain I'd ever been in since my transformation. By the way Alice tensed beside me, I knew she was coaching Edward, too. _Don't do this! You can resist! Don't!_

My thoughts were a mental slap in the face, and I didn't even want to know what Alice's were. They had a closer relationship than Edward and I did; I didn't feel comfortable shouting profanities at him, though I was quite sure Alice wasn't bothered in the slightest.

And Edward stiffened, not breathing and completely and utterly motionless.

_Edward, you have to at least_ pretend _you're human_! My thoughts were scathing, though I didn't mind. It was usually me that everyone had to watch out for. Edward never lost an inch of his self control. Having him do this was a major disappointment to both Alice and I. It was quite a let down.

And then there was the thought that the human girl would be harmed. I didn't care about her in the slightest, but my family would be implicated if Edward did anything stupid—like drink her blood. Not to mention how disappointed Carlisle would be….

But he endured it, somehow. All period he sat with his back to the girl, as if that could make a difference, not breathing, and incredibly tense. I could sense Isabella's confusion and hurt, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was my brother getting out before becoming a murderer. Again.

The bell rang, and he flew out of the building. I didn't blame him for using an extra burst of speed.

He found us in the car.

"Get me out of here," he snarled, launching himself in the backseat.

"Edward, be reasonable. You need to stay in school," Alice's smooth voice soothed softly.

"Alice, I was going to kill her. I almost ruined our entire life!" His hatred flared, punching me in the chest. I wasn't sure if it was hatred at the girl, or hatred at himself.

"You won't see her at all throughout the day. She has a completely different schedule than you, other than Biology."

Edward calmed, mulling this over in his head.

"So, if I were to get out of Biology, I wouldn't see her at all?"

"Well, in lunch. But her scent isn't that strong then, so I'm sure you'll be all right."

Edward nodded. "I'm going back. You two should, too. At the end of the day I'll go switch out of Biology."

We nodded in agreement, though after Edward left, we did not get out of the car.

"It would have been conspicuous if all three of us ditched," Alice murmured, her thoughts on the same wavelength as mine. She rested her head against the headrest in the driver's seat, pushing her fingers to her temples. "I'm going to be watching his future."

I nodded, placing my hand on her leg. She lifted up a corner of her mouth into a half smile. "You know I won't be able to concentrate with you doing that."

I laughed, moving my hand away, but staring at her intently.

It was irrational, of course. She was a vampire, one of the strongest I knew, and she had an extra sense for seeing the future. And yet, I couldn't stop trying to protect her. She was just so _tiny_… and if anything ever happened to her, I knew my own life would end. There was no question about it.

Near the end of the day, Alice gasped loudly. Her eyes opened wide as she swiftly put the car into gear.

"We have to get to the office building," she hissed in answer to the question in my eyes. "Bella's going to be there. With Edward."

Even in the intense situation, I took time to snort. Already we were using pet names for the human. Bella.

We swerved, parking directly in front of the office building. Bella and Edward were already inside, though he didn't appear to notice her. But a girl was walking in the door, the wind from outside ruffling Bella's hair--.

_EDWARD STOP!_ Again I screamed at him in my thoughts. _Just get out. That's all you need to do. Just. Get. Out._

He tensed, cutting off his air supply. He whispered a hurried apology to the woman at the front desk before rushing out.

"I drive," he informed Alice as he opened the front seat. She was smart enough not to argue.

We picked up Rosalie and Emmett swiftly, and then we were off.

"What's going on?" Rosalie demanded.

"I'm leaving," Edward said, surprising us all. Except Alice.

"You can't," she said simply.

"I'm not going to endanger my family all because of that stupid human girl." His nostrils flared. "I'm going. Now."

"Talk to Carlisle," was all Alice said before getting out of the car. We were home already. Edward managed a stiff nod as the rest of us exited. And then he was gone, a trail of dust blowing up in the wind behind him.

"He'll be back," Alice said certainly.

"You've seen that?" I whispered quietly.

"Well… no. He hasn't decided to come back yet. But he will."

I nodded, not so certain myself.

I couldn't believe this was actually happening. My brother, Edward, being so adversely affected by a human? Being driven out of his own home... by a human? It made no sense.

And before, he had wanted to figure her out, to find out her secrets....

We don't fraternize with humans. It's part of our camouflage. It's against the rules. It's just plain wrong.

"My brother," I murmured under my breath, "the idiot."

Alice chuckled, winding her hand through mine. She didn't say anything, but I knew she agreed with me.

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**If you liked it, and haven't read my other Jasper story, Another Way, go for it!**

**Please review! And thank you vampirelover15 for helping me with some ideas!**


	2. The Prodigal Returns

We took our seats in the cafeteria, one member of our family short. I couldn't help but glare at the human who caused us so much trouble, though she wasn't looking at us.

It had been weeks since Edward had gone. All we knew was that he was staying with our friends in Denali, nothing more. We had heard nothing from him: not a call, not a message, and certainly not a visit. It was like he excommunicated himself from us. Carlisle had spoken to Eleazar on the phone, but he could give us no information. Edward apparently didn't spend most of his time with the Denalis, choosing to roam the frozen tundra alone. I hoped he was hunting penguins. That would show him.

"This is getting ridiculous," I muttered to Alice day after day. "I can't stand this anymore."

She never had anything to respond. I could sense that her feelings were the same.

And still, Edward did not return.

This was causing a strain on my relationship with Alice, too. She spent her nights lost in her visions of the future, looking for a glimpse of our brother's fate, rather than to spend them with me.

And it was all that stupid human's fault.

I was spending another night alone when Alice walked into my bedroom. I was reading, but I put the book down instantly. Alice would only come in here if she had news.

My body froze when I saw her expression, felt her mood: she was feeling sour, almost angry. That could only mean one thing.

"He's not coming back," I whispered.

"Oh no, he is," Alice responded, and her voice was scathing. I rarely ever saw her angry, so this was a surprise. It was even a bigger mystery given that this was good news: our brother was returning! I instantly understood that there was something more.

"What's going on?" I demanded.

Alice sat on the arm of my red plush armchair. Our bed was in her room.

"He's decided to be friends with her." The words came out almost in a hiss.

"I don't understand."

"He doesn't think she's that much of a danger anymore now that he hasn't been around her for a while. He's more curious now than he was before."

"Curious?"  
"He wants to figure out why he can't read her thoughts."

I sighed, putting my head in my hands. Alice stroked my hair.

"He needs to forget about her, Alice. This can't end well."

"I know," she soothed, though I could feel that she was just as tense as I was.

We sat like that for a while, just reveling in being together.

"What can we do?" I asked her.

She shrugged. "I don't know how she'll respond to him, or even if he can resist her. I guess we wait."

"I don't like waiting," I grumbled.

"Neither do I. But he's determined, Jazz, so we should support him. Even if he is being an idiot."

I smiled, raising my head to kiss her.

Edward arrived the next day, or later that morning if I was going to be technical. He was a little ashamed, but mostly relieved to be home. Esme sucked him in to a bone-crushing hug the second he walked through the door.

"Welcome back, my son," she whispered in his ear. Edward wrapped his own arms around her.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I won't leave again." Esme would have been crying, had that been possible.

Carlisle clapped a hand on Edward's shoulder, conveying his relief through his thoughts rather than words.

"Glad your back, man," Emmett said, pumping Edward's fist. Edward grinned at him, then Rosalie, who smiled feebly back. Then he turned to me and Alice.

"You are insane, Edward. You can't be friends with that girl. It won't end well." Alice didn't bother with her relief that he was back, jumping straight to the issue at hand. I threw him a hard glance. Rosalie's eyes seemed to be made of fire, jealousy ripping through her. I held back my chuckle. Rosalie would be Rosalie.

"What's this?" Carlisle asked quietly.

"I just want to figure out why I can't hear her thoughts, that's all."

"Edward, I'm not sure-," Carlisle started, but Esme cut him off.

"If he can handle himself, then I don't see why not."

"I don't know if he _can_ handle himself," Alice said.

"He's being an idiot," I muttered.

"If you're all done talking about me right in front of me, I'd like to say something." We all fell silent, staring at him. "Listen to me. If I can't handle myself, then I will walk away. I know what to expect when I smell her now. It will be easier. I just need to understand why she can resist my power."

"It is an interesting conundrum…" Carlisle mused to himself.

"You can't be serious, Carlisle!" Rosalie hissed.

"Rose," murmured Emmett, but she was in her element.

"You can't honestly agree with him! We worked this hard to stay _away_ from the humans—not to get closer to one!"

"Look, I'm not trying to get closer to her!" Edward growled. "I just need to figure this out! It could be dangerous to our family. What if she figures out what we are? How will we know? I won't be able to read her thoughts, and it might be the death of us."

I had to admit, this was something to think about.

"When you put it that way, it sounds kind of reasonable," I muttered.

Rosalie gaped at me, her eyes widened with frustration.

"Fine," she said finally, viciously. "Fine. Go talk to the human girl. Just don't come crying to me when you kill her." With that, Rosalie stormed out of the room.

"She'll get over this," Alice said confidently. "It will take a while, but she will. But she does have a point."

"And what point is that?" Edward asked.

"Even though she didn't put it across in the … best way… she's right. If you kill her, I won't be able to see that beforehand, because it's a split second decision. It could turn out worse if you start talking to her, Edward. If she's dead, that's probably a better indicator of what we are than her figuring it out on her own. It's not like anyone will believe her, anyway."

Edward's face seemed to be chiseled from stone.

"I won't kill her, Alice. That I can promise you." With that, he walked away.

I sighed, winding my fingers with my wife's. "That could have gone better."

"Tell me about it," she said, rolling her eyes. But her voice was playful now, a smile hinting on her lips.

"Come on," she said devilishly. "I believe there's something we have to catch up on."

"And what's that?" I asked her.

"Well, we haven't spent many nights together, and it's still too early to go to school--."

I didn't let her finish. I already had her scooped up in my arms, speeding upstairs.


	3. Bitter Fights and an Almost Accident

**Disclaimer: I'm still not Stephenie Meyer. All her awesome characters just like to hang around in my head on weekends when they've got nothing to do.

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You'd think that with Edward home I could find some peace of mind.

You'd think wrong.

I watched him stare at her all lunch period, that vile human girl who was ruining all our lives. Edward felt nothing of my anger, though I didn't doubt that he could hear it through my mind. He felt confused, intrigued: the same way he did when he first saw her. Before he almost killed her. Before he almost ruined our lives.

"Almost," Edward reminded me in a hiss, reading my thoughts. "I didn't actually kill her, did I?"

The bell rang, and I took the last chance I could.

"Edward, don't do this."

He ignored me, stalking off toward the Biology building. I sighed. Alice stood next to me, looping her arm around mine.

"Come on, it's time for Spanish. I'll watch out for his future," she said, standing on her tiptoes to murmur in my ear.

I nodded, knowing that it wouldn't do any good. Suppose Alice did see Edward killing her—what would we be able to do? We couldn't exactly rush out of the classroom without blowing our cover. It's not like we would be able to storm the Biology room and drag our brother away.

We were stuck. This could only end badly.

Usually, I tried to ignore the emotions of the humans once I settled into my chair in Spanish. It was hard, but I was able to do it if I concentrated enough. Today I let the wave of feeling wash over me, using every inch of my concentration to focus on Alice. Her eyes were open, but they had a glassy sheen to them; she was already having visions of the future.

I nudged Alice every once in a while to remind her to blink or fidget. Humans didn't normally sit as still as a statue for an entire class period.

"He's fine," she finally breathed when the bell rang. "He got out before hurting her."

I sighed with relief. But how long could this last? Were we going to spend every day, waiting on bated breath to learn whether my brother had become a murderer or not? Not on my watch.

At home that night, Edward and I fought.

"You can't keep doing this, Edward! You're nowhere near discovering why she can resist your power—there's no point in keeping this up!"

"I'm not going to kill her, Jasper!"

"And how do you know that?" I demanded. "How do you—." I stopped short, my mouth hanging open. "Oh dear God," I whispered.

"What? What?" Edward shouted, frantically trying to read the answer in my thoughts.

"You…_care_ about her." And it was true. I could feel it in his emotions underneath the anger and the confusion… he cared about her. It wasn't a strong emotion, but it was there.

"No." Edward's voice was hard as stone.

"You do! I can feel it." My voice held nothing but disgust.

Humans were either prey or idiotic creatures that held no interest to vampires. They were not objects of desire.

"No," Edward denied, his teeth clenched. "I just need to—."

"No, Edward. No more. Just ignore her."

He walked away without a word, though I could feel his fury. Edward didn't like being told what to do. I didn't want to force him to do this—but this was getting ridiculous. He was acting like an idiot.

"You did the right thing," Alice murmured.

"I don't want him to be angry at me," I admitted softly.

"He'll forgive you. You're family."

I nodded, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

The next day as we exited the Volvo at school, Edward gave me his word that he would stop his nonsense with the human girl. He was still angry at me, but it was what I needed to do to protect my family. He would forgive me later. At least, I hoped he would. I didn't like being the bad guy. But if it saved my family from discovery, it was worth it... right?

The decrepit truck that Isabella, that human, drove entered the parking lot, and Edward instantly focused his gaze on her.

"Edward," I warned him under my breath.

"I already promised you I wouldn't talk to her, okay?" he whispered angrily back. I sighed.

I could only hear the rumble of engines and the buzz of human chatter, but another strange sound met my ears as Alice cried, "Oh!"

Edward saw whatever image she was seeing in her thoughts and, before I could stop him, ran across the parking lot faster than human eyes could see.

"What is it?" I demanded, holding Alice's shoulders. "What's going to happen?"

"Bella," was all she whispered.

And before I could get another word out, the van skidded into the parking lot, aiming directly for Isabella Swan.

I cursed loudly, though it was drowned by the screech of the van. And suddenly Edward was there, pushing the human girl out of the way, pushing the _van_—

"What the hell does he think he's doing?" I cried.

And then it was over. The girl was unharmed, the boy in the van surviving with only a few scrapes. The humans apparently didn't notice a thing. But what would they do when they noticed later that there was a distinct dent in the car Edward leaned against—a dent that perfectly matched his shoulders? What about the fingerprints on the bottom of the van from when he squeezed it as he lifted it?

If we got out of this alive, I was going to kill him.

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**A tad dramatic in the last lines, but Jasper is kind of P. beyond belief. **

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	4. The Five Second Rule

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer, and I don't own Twilight.**

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It was hours after 'the incident', as Carlisle chose to call it. I called it 'my brother's temporary lapse in sanity'. Emmett and Rosalie agreed with me, though Alice seemed troubled. I couldn't seem to pull her out of her thoughts, and her anxiety was affecting me.

"What is it?" I murmured to her, stroking her arm. She glanced at me with eyes full of worry, and I tensed. We had erased all evidence of Edward's unnatural strength on the van, we had asked around to make sure that no one suspected our family of anything. Edward wasn't home yet, he was still at the hospital; had he killed the human girl with witnesses?

"It's just something I saw earlier. I don't know if it even means anything, but it's got me thinking…" she trailed off.

"What did you see?"

"Bella." Alice said the name uncertainly, as if she was seeing the human in a different light, trying out different tones to say her name.

"With the van hitting her?"

"No, this was something that came after, something… different."

"Different how?"

"I saw her…" Alice stopped, seemingly choking on her words. "I saw her become one of us," she admitted in a small voice.

I was at a loss for words. My mouth opened and closed several times, making no sound. My brain reeled as it tried to process this information.

"_How_?" I asked when I regained the power of speech.

"I don't know," Alice said, a crease appearing in her forehead as she frowned. "I got the vision after Edward saved her from the van, when he was still confined in that small space with her… it was just a flicker, nothing more. But Jasper, I think it's going to come true."

I was pretty certain that if my mouth opened any wider, it would become unhinged from my head.

"I've been seeing the future for over fifty years, Jasper. I've got this vague sense of what comes true and what doesn't… and this feels _right_ to me. Like Bella's supposed to be in our lives."

"I… you… can't… _insane!_" I spluttered.

Alice trilled her bell-like laugh, the one I hadn't heard for weeks. "Everything's going to be fine," she said, and I could feel her utter confidence.

My Alice, the one I had utterly fallen in love with, the one who was care-free and quirky and didn't obsess over her brother's future everyday, my Alice was back. But should she be so lighthearted? We weren't out of the danger yet. And even if Bella (I noticed with vague distaste that I started calling her by her nickname in my mind) did join our family one day- something I found inconceivable- there's no telling the amount of discord both she and my family would have to go through to achieve that. Would she be dying when she was transformed, like most of us? Or would she consciously make a choice?

I shuddered. I couldn't imagine anyone condemning themselves to this life.

When Edward and Carlisle arrived home that day, everyone was as silent as the dead.

"So… it's all okay," Edward mumbled, trying to alleviate the tension.

"Oh yes, everything is just peachy," Rosalie scoffed.

"Rose," Emmett murmured, putting a hand on her shoulder, but she shook it off.

"What were you thinking, Edward? You could have exposed us all!"

I did not normally think on the same wavelength as Rosalie. It was unnerving. But I didn't show my unease as I nodded vehemently at her side, my hands folded across my stone chest.

"If I let the van crush her, I would have exposed us all. I chose the safer course," Edward said.

"How exactly was this safer?" I asked in a low growl.

"If the van had broken her body and spilt her blood, do you think I would have been able to refrain from drinking it? Would any of you be able to do that?"

"Gross, dude," Emmett said, laughing boisterously. "Five second rule."

"Tactful, Em," I hissed sarcastically as Edward's nostrils' flared in fury.

"We all would have lost ourselves to our senses," Edward continued after a moment, choosing to ignore Emmett's comment. "Since I saved her, we're all fine."

I started to laugh darkly. "Fine? Right, Edward. Do you realize how close you came to exposing us all for what we were? You left finger marks and shoulder imprints on two cars. If I hadn't cleaned up after your mess, we might have had to answer a lot of questions."

"You don't know that for sure," Edward mumbled, looking at his shoes.

"You need to stop this madness, Edward. You need to forget that you care about the human girl, and get on with your life."

"Maybe now would be a good time to move," Emmett suggested. "I mean, we're going to have to get out of here sometime."

"I'm not leaving," Edward stated calmly, though I felt the undercurrent of his determination. "I can handle this."

"I hope you're ready to take her into the family," Alice murmured sing-songily under her breath. She averted her eyes, staring at the ceiling, though the hint of a smile on her lips suggested that she wanted Edward to take the bait.

He did. "What do you mean, Alice?"

"I had a vision," Alice said calmly, as though she were commenting on the weather. "Bella was a vampire, and she was part of the family. I just want to make sure that you're all prepared."

I had already heard this, though the emotions of the others threw me for a moment. At first they were confused, then shocked; then the mixture came. Rosalie was, of course, livid, Emmett was back to confused, Esme was delighted, Carlisle was content, and Edward was losing his mind with anger.

"_WHAT?" _he roared. I heard the tinkling in the other room as the chandelier crashed to the ground. Esme sighed; it had been one of her favorites. I made a mental note to buy her a new one as Edward rampaged on.

"No, no, no, no, _no!_"

"Um… yes," Alice responded. "I saw it."

"No," Edward denied, his ocher eyes on fire.

"Yes."

It looked like some sick, masochistic game; Edward was furiously denying the future, even after Alice had shown it to him in her head.

"The future changes, Alice."

"Not this one. I can feel it."

"You're wrong," Edward said coolly, and Alice's eyes glazed over. Apparently, he had just made a decision.

Alice came out of her vision with a pout. "That was mean."

"What was mean?" Emmett demanded.

"Patience is a virtue, my brother," I teased him darkly. Emmett threw a sofa at my head; I stopped it with one hand and gently put it back on the floor.

"What was mean?" he asked again.

"Edward is going to ignore Bella now," Alice said, frowning. "That's not fair, you know. She was going to be my best friend."

"Sorry to disappoint," Edward hissed, before marching out the backdoor. "I'm going to hunt," he called over his shoulder.

I rubbed my hand on my face for a few moments. "This is ridiculous."

"Tell me about it," Rosalie mumbled.

"He has the right to be happy," Esme said as Carlisle nodded.

"Idiot," I mumbled under my breath.

_"I heard that!"_ Edward called from the backyard.

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**I hope you are all enjoying the story so far... Comments would be greatly appreciated and you will all receive virtual hugs!**


	5. An Obsessed Vampire Stalker

**I'm sorry for not updating in a while- I'm usually very prompt! There have been a few things that have distracted me... I've recently discovered how to make Pieces of Flair on Facebook, and the group Twilight Secrets is just too addictive. Plus I had a nasty Chem test that didn't understand that my priority was fanfiction.**

**Anyway, enough with the excuses! Let the story commence!**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, though I would like to go get an ice cream cone with her.**

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Life was tense, but safe.

Edward realized how insane he was being when Alice showed him the vision of Bella as a vampire. He stopped showing any interest in the human girl. He didn't talk to her, look at her, or even give any indication that he was aware of her existence. Only I was aware of the undercurrent of frustration and intrigue that continued to flow from him whenever he tried, unsuccessfully, to read her mind.

It was lunch now; I shredded my napkin to pieces to alleviate the boredom. All around me there was a buzz of excitement. I strained to hear the bits and pieces of the conversation around me.

_"…girl's choice…"_

_"…Jessica asked Mike…"_

_"… do you think Bella…"_

I frowned in distaste. It took so little to get these humans worked up. A dance, really? How incredibly trite.

It was only when I turned back to my family that I realized the humans were not the only ones anxious about this.

"Do you think she's going with someone?" Edward asked quietly.

I sighed. He ignored my reaction, staring at his uneaten bagel.

"Edward," Alice murmured under her breath. "Bella isn't going to ask anyone to the dance." His face brightened instantly, but Alice shook her head, putting her hand up for him to listen. "Bella isn't going to ask anyone, but Mike Newton is. If he fails then Eric Yorkie is, and if she still isn't going with anyone by then, Tyler Crowley is. I can't see which of them she'll accept because she doesn't have to make a decision yet."

"Easy, Edward," I said quietly as he tensed, his murderous rage hitting me with the force of a brick wall.

"They don't care about her," he hissed, his white hand clenched into a fist. "They just want her because she's the new girl. They don't actually care about her."

"And you do?" I retorted.

"I didn't say that," Edward replied defensively, his jaw tightening automatically.

I didn't press the conversation, knowing instinctively it would go nowhere.

When the bell rang, I didn't need to ask Edward why he was in such a hurry to get to his Biology class. I had a strong feeling it had to do with the fact that Bella Swan and Mike Newton were both his classmates.

"So, is Mike going to make his move in Biology?" I muttered to Alice under my breath as we walked to Spanish together.

Alice frowned. "Yes. He's working up the courage now."

I threw a glance over my shoulder at the retreating backs of Bella Swan and Mike Newton. Even from this distance I could feel how sincerely out of place she felt. Content, yes, but awkward.

"What is she going to say?"

"You know I don't know that."

Her frown grew more pronounced. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

"I don't want her to go with him," she said determinedly.

"Mike? Why? Most of the humans seem to like him."

She didn't answer and something clicked in my mind.

"You want her to go… with Edward?" I asked incredulously.

She gave a terse nod.

"How? _Why_?"

Alice sighed. "She was going to be my friend, Jasper. I was going to love her."

I was married to someone insane. My wife was a mentally deranged vampire.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur; if I had been able to cry, I would have been bored to tears. High school was bad enough the first time. To be doomed to repeat it for all of eternity when, by all rights, I was already of graduating age was torture.

Alice and I met Rosalie and Emmett by the cafeteria where we usually met before leaving school together. Edward was absent from our gathering. I sighed.

"Is he with Bella?" I asked, resigned.

"No, he's just watching her."

"An obsessed vampire stalker. How quaint."

Alice elbowed me in the ribs, but didn't comment.

Edward was already in the car by the time we made our way over to the parking lot. He was stalled in front of Bella Swan's decrepit truck in the parking lot as Tyler Crowley made a desperate attempt to ask Bella to the Girls' Choice dance. The measures my brother would go to just to hear her answer were pathetic. He was lucky, though. Bella turned him down, frustration and embarrassment coloring her tone.

"She turned down all three?" I murmured to Alice.

"Yes," she chirped excitedly.

Well, that was something. The other human girls would have jumped at the chance to be asked by three different guys in the same day.

The four of us slid into the Volvo and Edward sped away as Bella revved her engine. For a moment I thought she was going to ram our bumper.

"She's got quite a temper, doesn't she?" asked Edward, chuckling lightly. It was strange to see him in such high spirits. For as long as I've known him, Edward was constantly sullen and depressed. It wasn't exactly a walk in the park to be around him, especially with my talent.

I tried to dissect his mood in my mind. Happiness… but not only that. There was a bit of surprise and he was… proud? Proud of her turning down those children?

The side of Edward's mouth twitched as he heard what I was thinking.

As twilight made its appearance and the day turned to night, Alice and I moved to the corner of the living room. We sat, secluded from the others, in one of the cozy armchairs that Esme liked to decorate the house with. I pressed my forehead against hers and closed my eyes as she weaved her fingers through mine. She kissed my nose lightly and I smiled.

Alice suddenly looked up after a few minutes of this, startled. Her eyes glazed over as she saw the future. When she came down to earth, she grinned, glancing at Edward. He looked embarrassed and said sheepishly to his shoes, "I'm… going to go out."

I blinked with surprise. "You just hunted a few days ago."

"That's… that's not why."

I looked from Alice's delighted face to Edward's chagrinned one.

"Let me guess. This has to do with the human."

"She has a name!" Alice said indignantly.

"Please let me be the one to remind you that you've never met her, never mind had a conversation with her," I said seriously to Alice.

"But I _know_ her, Jasper. I love her already."

I gaped at the word _love_, and Edward made his escape.

"Don't wake her!" Esme called after him. "Humans need their sleep!"

"What is he planning to do, exactly?" I asked Alice.

"He's just going to watch her sleep."

That took a few moments to sink in.

"That's… weird."

"No it's not," Alice said, frowning at me.

It was.

Things were kind of tense that night.

Alice was angry at me for not accepting her new human BFF into the loop that did not yet exist. Edward was off spying on some human girl while she slept, and I kept imagining several hilarious instances when he would be put on "To Catch a Predator". Emmett tried to crack a few distasteful jokes, but Rosalie shut him up with a glare. And I sat, watching Esme count the stitches on her knitting needle.

Esme had taken up knitting for God knows what reason, since none of us had any need for protection from the elements. She had finished three scarves, sixteen pairs of mittens, two small pairs of booties, and was working on a rather large afghan when Edward returned, just as the sun started to rise.

The first thing I noticed where his emotions.

Incredulity, peace, contentedness, resolution, courage; all the things that come along with having an epiphany.

He didn't seem to notice the tension in the room as he waltzed through the front door, sinking into the pristine white couch in the center of the room. All eyes were on him, waiting for the details of his night. Alice probably knew, of course, but we wanted to hear it from him.

Edward looked up and jumped at all the waiting faces.

"What?" he asked innocently.

We continued to stare.

"So, umm, how was your night?" he asked us.

The staring continued.

" 'Pleasant, Edward, how was yours?'" Edward mocked in what was supposed to be a chorus of our voices. Still, no one made a sound. "Well, thank you for asking, all. I had a wonderful night, actually."

Silence.

"I realized that you were right, Jasper. I … care about Bella. I can't stay away from her any longer."

The silence took on a new flavor: shock.

"She said my name," he said, his eyes far away and a smile creeping on his lips. "While she was asleep, she said my name. More than once." He looked at me, and I could see that he was looking at the world from a whole different perspective: an optimistic one. For Edward, this was a dramatic change.

"Erm… what does that entail, exactly?" I asked.

"I don't know what this feeling is," Edward said solemnly. "I've never felt anything like it before. But when I'm with her it's like… it's like the stars align. Everything is just wonderful and perfect, even under the worst circumstances."

"Like the 'I-want-to-drink-your-blood' thing?" I asked, trying to keep the mood light.

"Well, yes. I've decided that I'm going to try and befriend her."

Alice squealed, jumping up and down in excitement. "Yes! Okay so there's a sale in Port Angeles, Bella and I should-." Edward held out a hand, signaling her to stop.

"No, I don't want any interference from anyone, not yet. I just want to see if I can handle myself around her."  
"And if you can't?" I asked, voicing the one thing everyone else was unwilling to bring up.

Edward hesitated, but only for a fraction of a second. "I think I can. I'm almost positive that I can." He smiled. "Hopefully, that will be enough."

With that, he retreated to his room.

"What if it's not enough?" I whispered to no one in particular, staring at his retreating back.

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**Oh Jasper, you are so prone to the dramatics. Anyway, I hope you liked it! Review, pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top!**


	6. The Vampire and the Cheeseburger

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Sigh....**

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"No he will _not!_" I furiously hissed under my breath as Alice told me the future. Several humans stared wide-eyed at me; I cast them a vicious glare and they turned away quickly.

"Easy Jasper," Alice tried to soothe me. I was beyond all reason.

"What the _hell _is he thinking? Alone in a car with her? Is he utterly _insane?!_"

Alice sighed as the bell rang, signaling us to go to our first class.

She had just told me that Edward was going to ask Bella if she would like a ride to Seattle, her excuse for turning down those pitiful humans yesterday, and she was going to say yes. Even though she hadn't been asked yet, Alice could see that Bella had already made up her mind that if Edward wanted anything, she would give it to him.

"You need to give him some credit, Jazz."

"I don't need to do anything," I retorted.

Alice winced at my tone, and I instantly regretted my harsh words, even if they were true. I stopped her, taking her hand in mine. She wouldn't look me in the eye, and more fierce regret pulsed through me. I had upset the one I loved. That was unforgivable.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I whispered fervently. My shoulders slumped with relief as she met my gaze. "I'm just not used to this. I don't know how you all put up with me before."

"What do you mean?" she asked quietly in her musical voice. Her hand traced one of the many scars on my left cheek and I sighed, closing my eyes and pressing my face into her palm. The humans gave us a six-foot radius in the rainy pathway on the way to building four. They sensed that this moment was far out of their league.

"Edward was always the one who had to stop me from killing the humans," I said with a dark smile. "It's strange to have our roles reversed."

"He's not going to kill her, Jazz," Alice said, but there was an undercurrent of unease that cut through her determined statement.

"What aren't you telling me?" I demanded immediately.

"It's, well…." she trailed off, not meeting my eyes again, though this time it was out of shame.

"Alice."

"They're just flickers, Jazz. There isn't anything concrete, because he hasn't made up his mind whether he will kill her or not. This is so confusing for him- on the one hand, he's in love with her. On the other, the scent of her blood drives him absolutely insane. It's so different than any other human's."

I shifted uneasily. "There is no way that this human's life is worth the internal battle he's going through."

She smiled slyly. "You of all people should know how he feels about her."

I didn't answer Alice because she was right, and it had been bothering me for a while now. Edward's feelings for this creature had grown exponentially that night he watched her sleep. Now it was very nearly pain to not know whether she accepted him the same way or not.

How was it possible that my brother had feelings for a human that were nearly as powerful as the ones I had for Alice? I just couldn't see it. They were our prey, our food. It made about as much sense as a human falling in love with a cheeseburger and fries.

Utterly ridiculous.

I'd thought there was something wrong with me, that I wasn't getting a perfect reading on Edward- which was strange, since my talent had never failed me before. But, after several hours trying to sort this out, I realized that this was exactly what Edward was feeling. I wondered if the human's feelings, if _Bella's_ feelings- there was not getting around it now, she was Bella in my mind at this point- could possibly be the same.

They couldn't, though I hadn't had a reading on her yet. She was human, though. They're feelings weren't as strong as ours. It wasn't possible.

Alice understood that I didn't want to be interrupted during my silence, so she towed me to our first class without a word. What had I done to deserve a wife such as her?

"I love you too," Alice murmured before I could even get the words out. Her visions made it hard to be spontaneously romantic.

We chose our customary seats in the back of the room. I pulled out her chair for her and she beamed, pecking me on the cheek.

Several students stared.

Wait, what? Had I just referred to them as _students?_ As in people?

I frowned. This Bella girl was making it hard for me to loathe the human race.

"Don't forget today's Biology lab," Alice warned me under her breath. I nodded tersely. I didn't take Biology as I was pretending to be a senior, but there was no possible way that I could be anywhere near the science building with the blood-typing lab going on. Thankfully, I would be in the building on the polar opposite side of the campus grounds, though there was no reason not to be overly cautious.

The morning passed quickly to my intense surprise and utter frustration. Surprise because I had never spent a day in high school that hadn't bored me into a coma-like state. Frustration because it was all due to the humans.

I had never really noticed them before- they were all nameless, faceless, succulent-smelling things that passed by me from day to day. I thought it was better not thinking of them at all, and it was- in a way. Though it was easier to ignore them when they didn't mean much in my mind, it was harder when I was trying to abstain from clamping my teeth down on their necks. Now I couldn't seem to ignore any of them, though that made it somehow easier to abstain- it was strange, circular logic that gave me a headache.

Who knew that watching Ben Cheney pine over Angela Weber could be so heartbreaking- like a well played out soap opera? Who knew that watching my classmates try and understand Calculus could be so damn entertaining?

Certainly not me.

I had never noticed the humans before, and now I couldn't peel my eyes away.

It was only when Alice and I walked into the cafeteria that I groaned loudly.

There Edward was, sitting at an empty table- not our table. He was anxious, tense- waiting.

It didn't take much brain power to guess what he was waiting for- or rather for _whom_.

Alice could barely resist jumping up and down as she passed his solitary table, her excitement and jubilancy wafting over me. Emmett guffawed loudly, clapping his hand on his shoulder before walking away. I hope no one else noticed the way the steel legs of the bench bent slightly under his wallop. Edward smiled sheepishly at us before staring down at the faux grains in the table. Rosalie's jealousy flared as she walked by without looking at him.

I snorted, and she glared at me.

As Bella Swan joyfully made her way over to Edward's new table, I started worrying. Was this how our family was going to stay? Edward fraternizing with Bella, me thinking the humans as _people_—ugh!—Alice hopeful that she might be able to be friends with a human, Rosalie jealous and bitingly nasty – though that was actually a pleasant change from her usually self-absorbedness—and Emmett's utter carelessness about what this was doing to our family?

I stared at them again, watching as they bantered lightly. There was something that I couldn't quite taste, couldn't quite understand flowing between them. It wasn't quite love, but it was far more than friendship.

The vampire and the cheeseburger. What a lovely couple.

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**I don't know about you, but that last line made me giggle a little.**

**The next chapter: What does Jasper think of Edward's knight-in-shining-armor move after the Biology blood-typing shenanigans? **

**Reviews are welcome :)  
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	7. Surprise Meetings in the Forest

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

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"Where have you been?" I asked as we all piled into the Volvo. Edward had been three minutes late; not very long by human standards, but my brother was always meticulously on time.

Edward shifted uncomfortably but did not reply.

As Alice stepped in to her familiar passenger seat position, her face went blank as she had a vision. It was short enough that I didn't have time to get worried. She stared at Edward, smiling.

"Yes, of course," she said in response to the question he was about to ask, then closed the door and danced to the ugly red truck that belonged to Bella Swan.

"What did you do?" I demanded as soon as Alice had started the truck and pulled out after us.

"Don't worry, she's still alive," he muttered, not meeting my glare.

"Oh well, thank the heavens that the human has survived another instance with you, Edward," Rosalie hissed scathingly. "Where is she? What have you done?"

"I did nothing," he retorted.

"Edward…," I said quietly. "Where is she?"

He took a deep inhalation through his nose before answering, pinching the bridge of his nose as he often did in times of stress. "I gave her a ride home, okay? She fainted in Biology and I wanted to make sure that she arrived home safely… that I could handle being in a car alone with her."

I opened my mouth but closed it as soon as I realized that there was no suitable response for this.

We headed home the rest of the way in a tense silence. I watched the trees flash past the windows in quick succession rather than focus on Edward's emotions, which were confused again.

"Has it ever happened to you?" he asked quietly as we pulled into the garage.

"None of us have been stupid enough to befriend a human," Rosalie hissed.

"That's not what I meant… have you ever met anyone whose scent was as potent as Bella's is to me?"

He looked around the car hopefully. Rosalie snorted and took her leave without a word. Edward watched her go then turned his eyes back to Emmett and I, side by side in the backseat.

"Never," I answered honestly. "They all smell equally tantalizing to me."

"Twice for me, bro," Emmett admitted. "The second time was worse. I can't believe you let her live. I couldn't handle myself around the humans I met."

"So… you killed them?" Edward asked in a weak voice that I didn't recognize. Edward never showed weakness, he never had a weakness… my head was about to burst with the complexity of the situation.

Emmett shrugged. "You seem to handle yourself around her well. But if you ever wanna be … you know… close to her… I mean like if you ever—."

"We get it, Emmett," I said quickly before he could dig himself into a deeper hole.

"Right, yeah. Well if you ever wanna do that, well you're going to have to make sure you're absolutely strong enough." He shrugged again. "Other than that, I don't know what you want me to say."

Edward nodded, as if he had gained a lifetime of knowledge from Emmett's ramblings. "Thank you Em, Jazz."

We nodded, heading out of the car.

I waited in the garage for Alice, who arrived seventeen minutes later, dancing into the garage to get shelter from the sheeting rain.

"What took you so long?" I asked her.

"Bella is sadly in need of a new car. I couldn't make the thing go past fifty-five without it threatening to die on me." She pursed her lips. "And don't even get me started on her wardrobe! I swear, that girl has _got_ to go shopping."

"How did you see her clothes?" I asked, my eyebrows pulling down in confusion.

She shrugged in response. "I wanted to see her room."

"You _spied_ on her?"

She rolled her eyes. "I would hardly call it spying, Jasper, because she was in the kitchen at the time. I just wanted a peek around, see if I could learn anything new about her."

"You're joking."

"Nope. I'm actually quite serious."

I put my hand to my face, pulling down my cheeks as I tried to understand the convoluted workings of the minds of my family.

Edward and Emmett went hunting that weekend. It was quite a bit quieter without Emmett's booming voice cracking jokes every three milliseconds, and the change in volume disturbed me. Even Alice sensed my tension as she tried to rub soothing circles into my forearm.

"Go hunt," she suggested finally as nothing satiated my restlessness.

"I just hunted a couple of days ago," I grumbled.

"Then just go for a run, Jasper. I can't stand you when you're like this."

So, I took off.

Instead of going the familiar path that stemmed from our backyard, I chose a new one, running down the edges of the highway in town. The fear that I might be seen only added to the thrill and exhilaration of running, pushing me ever faster. If only Edward was here—I was sure that I was running faster than even him.

I picked new trails every once and a while. Finally, I ended up in the middle of a damp forest that I did not recognize. I inhaled deeply, tasting the smells of the damp earth and greenery.

The wind blew in my direction, throwing another smell like a brick at my face. I gasped. It was a human.

I shuddered as I inhaled again, feeling the familiar sensation of venom pooling in my mouth. I could almost taste the blood—

Almost, but not quite.

I took a few silent steps forward, already planning any way to silence the human when I came to an abrupt stop.

Bella Swan was sitting on top of her rain jacket on a felled tree. She was deep in thought, her head resting on some surface behind her, a crease appearing between her eyebrows.

Instantly, I crouched low behind the ferns until I was invisible from her vision. Breathing heavily in a way that had nothing to do with however many miles I had just covered, I tried to make the decision in my mind.

She smelled luscious… appallingly luscious. Her scent was like… freesia? Something like that, only a thousand times sweeter…. I inhaled deeply again, my chest trembling with the complexity of the smell and the raging burn of the thirst.

I decided to kill her.

As soon as I made this decision, however, two images of Edward's face burst into my mind.

The first was the Edward I had always known; the sullen creature that spent his time alone and was constantly emitting a flow of anger and depression. The second was the Edward that was now apparent, the one that Bella Swan had changed. The difference between the two was striking to say the least. The new Edward was no longer tense… he was smiling for no reason, his topaz eyes seeming to brighten.

Would I be willing to risk my brother's happiness just to quench the flames that were clawing at the inside of my throat? Surely he went through greater pain than this just to sit next to her, to be near her for all the time they spent together. If I just had the strength to walk away, I could keep that happy version of Edward.

Without taking another breath, I silently crawled through the bramble and thickets of trees until I was sure that Bella would not have a chance of spotting me. Then I broke out into a run.

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**In case it wasn't clear, the last bit took place the day after Bella heard the stories from Jacob, when she went into the forest to clear her head.**

**Happy 2009 everybody! I hope you all had wonderful holidays and have a happy and healthy new year!  
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	8. Forever Changed

**I was ashamed to realize that I hadn't updated this story in a month. Literally a month. After all my promises to update frequently, this was kind of a rude awakening.**

**I'm sorry! I know, I'm being terrible. But it just seemed like I was updating frequently because I have about three other stories going on, which I also try to update as much as possible. I guess I got caught up in them.**

**So: SORRY! **

**Here is the next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. She probably would update more frequently.**

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Edward was furious.

"You could have _killed_ her, Jasper—"

"You almost kill her on a daily basis!"

"—and you were being completely irresponsible, you could have been seen! We have to maintain our sense of secrecy—"

"Yes, and going for a run in the dark woods is _much_ more dangerous than being attached to a human's hip—"

"Were you planning to even tell me? Did you honestly think you could keep this from me?"

"You've been home all of five seconds! When was I supposed to tell you?"

Instead of replying, he stalked out of the room, leaving me alone.

I groaned, sinking into the couch. Edward had come home from his hunting trip with Emmett yesterday in a right state. Apparently, Bella was on a beach trip, and he was convinced that she was in danger, that she had hurt herself… he had rushed out to check on her within ten minutes of arriving home. He came back this morning, and then he heard in my thoughts about my almost-but-not-quite disaster in the forest—and he lost it. Completely.

"He's off his rocker," I muttered.

Edward, who apparently was still within hearing distance, shouted obscenities back at me from the other room. Emmett had apparently taught him some new ones.

And Alice was beginning to be a problem, too. Over the weekend she had some strange vision and absolutely _refused_ to say anything about it, though the crease between her eyebrows was becoming dangerously close to being etched in permanently.

This whole situation was driving me mad. We never keep secrets from each other: never. It's kind of hard, to tell you the truth, what with Edward's mind reading and Alice's visions. And yet, thanks to Bella Swan, here we were, all fighting over the fate of a solitary human that, to be frank, _did not freaking matter in the big picture._ Oh sure, she made Edward happy. Fine. That's great and all, but seriously. It's not like he can't live without her, or anything. It's not like she even _knows _that he's in love with her. It's not like a human can ever dredge up any emotion close to the forces that we are capable of. Oh, and she's going to die eventually. That's definitely going to put a damper on their relationship.

All these things were a recipe for disaster.

This "relationship" was doomed. It couldn't end well, so then why start it?

"Jasper?" a tentative voice whispered. My head shot up instantly.

"Alice? Where are you?"

"Shh! Come out to the forest." There was a flurry of light footsteps, and she was gone. After a slight hesitation, I followed her.

"What's this abou—" I started to ask, but she shook her head furiously, a forefinger on her pursed lips.

After another few minutes of running, she stopped, her eyes flicking over the trees repeatedly toward the house. Her hair was slightly disheveled, she was wringing her hands; even her beautiful topaz eyes were wide with anxiety.

"Tell me what's going on." It wasn't a request.

"I had a vision this weekend," she blurted out.

"I know, but you wouldn't tell me what it was."

"I…." She trailed off, looking into the distance with a glazed look to her eyes. I knew her well enough to know that she wasn't having a vision, she was just distracted.

"Alice."

"I think Bella knows," she admitted in a deathly quiet whisper.

"Knows what?" I asked, confused.

"I think she _knows_, Jasper. About us and our… lifestyle."

It took about three and a half seconds for this to sink in.

"_Knows_?" I gasped. "As in—no! She can't poss—she _knows_?"

She only nodded in response.

"_How?!_"

"She was at La Push this weekend."

My hands reflexively clenched into marble fists.

"They broke the fucking treaty, didn't they?"

"It wasn't like that, Jazz—"

"Then what was it like?" I roared, scaring several birds out of their nests.

"Jasper, shh! Calm down, I don't want Edward—"

"This is his fault! _His fault!_ We're going to be discovered _because of him!_ The Volturi are going to burn us, probably without ripping us to pieces first! We're dead, Alice!"

"She's not going to tell anyone."

It was quiet for a long while.

"What do you mean?" I asked eventually, after I had unclenched my fists, finger by finger, and gotten my raging emotions under control.

"Bella tricked Jacob Black," she said quickly. "She was flirting with him, or something, and Jacob told her the stories. He's the great grandson of Ephraim Black, so he knew them well. He had no idea that he was breaking a treaty."

There was silence again.

Then I burst out laughing.

"Jasper?" Alice asked hesitantly as I rolled around on the dirt, hysterical laughter making it difficult to breathe.

"What is it with this human?" I gasped throughout my chuckles. "How is it that every male is willing to do anything for her?"

Alice frowned. "Really, Jazz—"

"Oh come on," I said, still chuckling. "You've got to at least see this. She's defective, this one."

"_Defective?_"

"Let's look at the facts. Edward can't read her mind. She fits in absolutely no where. She never does anything any _normal_ human would do. She's absolutely ordinary in every way, yet even _Edward _trips over himself to grant her every wish." I shook my head in disbelief as I rose. "There's got to be something wrong with her."

"She's not _broken_ like an old toy, Jazz. She's… she's special."

I had a sudden urge to smack my head into the floor repeatedly.

"I wouldn't," Alice said as she had a vision of me doing exactly that.

I sighed and sank into the damp earth of the forest floor.

"What's going to happen, Alice?" I whispered. She sat down lithely next to me, and I wrapped an arm around her tiny waist.

"I don't know," she murmured, and the crease appeared between her eyebrows again. "I'm really scared, Jasper."

I laughed lightly, touching my fingertip to her nose. "You don't have to tell me that. I know." It was true that Alice's emotions were twisted with anxiety and agitation.

She sighed and nuzzled her head into my neck. "Everything's going to be okay, though—in the end."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

Even though our lives were about to change radically because of Bella's newfound knowledge—and I wasn't sure whether the change would be for the better or for the worse—it was nice to know that Alice and I could have this sweet moment, one tiny yet significant piece of our forever.

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**If you are looking for something else to read in the void between my updates, check out ParamoreEvanescenceTwilight's**** community, The Best of the Best- Twilight Edition! There are some pretty fantastic stories there. She's also a wicked awesome author, and I would check out her page.**

**Until next time (which I hope shall be sooner than this last update),**

**~Lauren  
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	9. Eddie's Lapse in Judgement

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all these lovely characters. I force them to do all these shenanigans.**

**Okay, guys, just a word of warning: this chapter is completely, totally, and utterly random. I currently have a really bad cold and so I'm hyped up on cough syrup and Nyquil, so this is the result.  
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**YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**ALSO: (I know, this is long, I'm sorry) For information on how to get AUTOGRAPHS FROM *STEPHENIE MEYER*, *TAYLOR LAUTNER*, and *ROB PATTINSON*, read my author's note at the very end of this chapter.  
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Monday was one of the rare days when the sun decided to make an appearance, and so my family and I were forced to stay indoors. Which was fine for _most _of us—the ones who were mature enough to accept our limitations. _Some_ of us, however, complained.

"I'm bored," Emmett grumbled.

"Then do something," Edward snapped.

"Whoa, what's with you man?"

Edward looked out the window, staring at the sun glinting off the dewdrops on the grass. "Nothing," he said finally.

Emmett waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively and I nodded. Carefully, I extended a wave of pure serenity toward Edward, easing his tension and making him feel completely calm.

"Oh cut it out Jasper, you know that's not going to work." Edward, mood unchanged, shifted his body away from mine on the couch which we were sitting on.

"Damn it," Emmett muttered under his breath. "I thought for sure that one was going to do it."

"It hasn't worked for the past thirty-five years, Emmett, why would it now?" Edward countered?

Emmett nodded thoughtfully, deeply considering this revelation.

"What's got you all tense?" I asked.

Edward shrugged noncommittally, returning his gaze to the window. I sighed.

"Well, it doesn't take too much to guess. The hum—er, I mean, Bella?"

He looked like he was going to deny it for a moment, but ended up exhaling loudly. "I can't get her out of my head," he admitted, as if he were confessing a humiliating weakness. I groaned, burying my face into the couch cushion.

"I've never felt like this before," he continued, ignoring my show of dramatics. "She's…" He struggled for a moment to come up with a suitable adjective. "I can't put it into words," he eventually said, shrugging.

Emmett wolf-whistled, clapping him on the back.

"Oh shut up," Edward snapped.

"Well, Edward, if you're really in love with this girl, we'll need to have a talk," I teased. "You see, when a man loves a woman, there are certain _feelings_ that—"

Edward through a pillow at my face, cutting me off.

"Oh, you don't have to explain anything about 'feelings' to him," Emmett said, guffawing like a baboon.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. Alice immediately looked forward into the future for the answer, bursting into uncontrollable laughter after about ten seconds.

"Don't you dare!" Edward threatened menacingly, standing up and pointing at Emmett imperiously.

"Back before you were with us," Emmett continued, as if our brother wasn't standing right there, glaring daggers at him, "Eddie had a bit of a… _lapse_ in self control."

I frowned, looking from Emmett's grin to Edward's glare to Alice's impish smile. I hated being the odd one out.

"Shut up, you—" Edward started, taking a step forward toward Emmett.

"I wouldn't continue with that sentence," Alice piped up. "Emmett will not react kindly to your choice of vocabulary."

"I think I'll take my chances," Edward growled through his clenched teeth.

"What's wrong, Eddie?" Emmett asked in mock innocence. "Don't you want to relive the happy memory?"

"I said _shut up—_"

"It's a natural process," Emmett said somberly, skillfully holding back his laughter. "You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself."

"If you go on—"

"Oh don't be such a _stiff_, Eddie."

Alice doubled over in laughter. What was going on?

"I may have to kill you now," Edward said, no trace of mockery in his tone.

"Dude, he's serious," I informed Emmett.

"Oh, I know. Eddie gets all hot and bothered _very_ easily." A sly smile spread across his face. Edward lunged, but Em jumped in the air at the last second and Edward got a face full of couch.

Emmett stood on top of the frame of the couch, cleared his throat theatrically, and then screamed, "EDWARD GOT—"

Edward lunged again and this time his aim was true; he pounced on top of Emmett and body slammed him down to the ground. There was soon a pile of flailing white limbs on the living room floor.

"What is going on here?" Esme cried as she and Carlisle entered from the backdoor.

"Emmett is trying to tell Jasper about Edward's little mishap in Denali sixty seven years ago," Alice informed her between giggles.

Esme struggled to hide her smile, but Carlisle chuckled openly.

"Will someone please tell me what the heck is going on?" I complained.

Alice beckoned conspiratorially at me with her index finger. I sighed and then leaned in to her. She put her mouth at my ear and whispered," A couple of decades ago, Tanya tried to seduce Edward. He got a little… ah… _excited_."

I frowned. "But I thought he turned her down."

"Oh, he did. Edward was very clear to Tanya that nothing was ever going to happen between them." Alice paused, giggling again. "There were, however, certain parts of his body that were… aroused."

I burst out laughing, finally understanding Emmett's comments.

"That's it, I'm leaving," Edward stated furiously.

"Edward, don't overreact," Carlisle said calmly. "You do have the body of a seventeen year old male—you will react the way that most hormone charged teenage boys will. There are certain sexual processes that aren't under your control."

"Ugh!" Edward yelled, clamping his palms over his ears. "I don't want to hear this!"

"Carlisle, you're scarring Eddie's poor, virginal mind!" Emmett cried in fake horror. Edward sucker punched him in the stomach as he walked out of the house.

"Be careful!" Esme called after his retreating back. "Stay in the shadows!"

Emmett shouted after him too, but they weren't the type of lovely parting sentiments that I like to repeat.

"Where's he going?" I asked Alice once the front door slammed shut.

Her eyes glazed over. "Give me a sec," she murmured. Her lovely golden irises darted back and forth for a few seconds as she watched something I couldn't see.

"Got it. He's going to Bella's. He's just going to watch her and make sure she's okay. He won't do anything stupid."

I snorted. "We should have known."

Rose poked her head around the corner of the staircase. Satisfied, she walked elegantly down the stairs.

"Good, he's gone," she said, sniffing disdainfully. Rose had been having a hard time being in the same room with Edward ever since she realized how much he cared for Bella. Her jealousy was infuriating.

"Let's do something, Jasper," Alice said suddenly, turning to me. I sighed internally. Alice and Rose's relationship was on thin ice lately as well—Alice didn't care for Rose's disgust toward her human soon-to-be best friend.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Let's go shopping!"

"No!" I cried instantly.

Alice laughed. "Don't worry, I was just kidding."

"I knew that," I said nonchalantly, shrugging it off, though I was relieved. Shopping with Alice was not so much a day out as an ordeal that must be suffered through.

"We should probably stay inside today," Carlisle said, taking Edward's vacated seat on the couch.

"Like always," Emmett grumbled, flipping on the TV and surfing through the channels. He stopped suddenly, his eyes widening—never a good sign with Emmett. He lunged for the phone on the coffee table and dialed a number. Alice regressed back into giggles while the rest of us watched him in confusion.

"Hello, I just saw a commercial for your fine product on television, and I would love to place an order. Yes, twenty boxes should be enough. Yes ma'am, I said twenty boxes." Emmett started rattling off a credit card number and address and I turned back to the TV to see what he was buying. A commercial for "natural male enhancement" was playing, a telephone number flashing in the corner of the screen. I put my head in my hands just as Emmett grinned and said, "Yes, can you make that out to _Edward_ Cullen?"

* * *

**(Does anyone actually read my little notes here?)**

**First: A thank you to my extremely lovely new Beta, ParamoreEvanescenceTwilight, who I will now call Pet because I cannot continue to type that every time I thank her (which is going to be a lot. She rocks. Go to her page. Read her stories.)**

**Second: I have a little thing on the top of my profile about Team Shari, an auction to help a Twilight Mom with a brain tumor. **ROB PATTINSON AUTOGRAPHS **and **SIGNED BOOKS BY STEPHENIE MEYER** are some of the things you can bid on. For more info, the links are in my profile.**

**Third: (If you're still with me here you deserve a prize) You can follow me on Twitter now. My account name is, simply,_ seashell118_.  
**


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